Tan Kok Beng series

Di negara Singaporean memiliki Tan Kok Beng merupakan tokoh lucu yang sering diangkat/di gunakan nama tersebut dalam cerita-cerita lucu di singapore.

Berikut ini beberapa cerita lucu tentang Kok Beng the Crazy Singapore

Why did Kok Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed !
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-

Kok Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Kok Beng: “Do you have color TV ?”
Salesgirl: “Yes !”
Kok Beng: “Give me a green one, please “
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-

Kok Beng is filling up an application form for a job. He supplied
the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc.. Then he comes
to column on “Salary Expected”, but he is not sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes ” Yes”
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-

Kok Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Kok Beng: “What is that shiny object ?”
Salesgirl: “That is a thermos flask.”
Kok Beng: “What does it do ?”
Salesgirl: “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold”
Kok Beng: “I’ll buy it”
The next day, Kok Beng goes to work with his thermo flat
Boss: “What is that shiny object ?”
Kok Beng: “It’s a thermos flask.”
Boss: “What does it do ?”
Kok Beng: “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold”
Boss: “What do you have in it !?”
Kok Beng: “Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream”
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-

After taking photocopies of documents, Kok Beng always compares it
with the original for spelling mistakes.
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-

Kok Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-

Why can’t Kok Beng dial 911?
Because he can’t find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-

Kok Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it. When
he encountered some problems. He decide to use the ‘Help’ command after
some tries. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer
retailer for support.
Kok Beng: “I press the ‘F1′ key for help lah, but it’s been over
half an hour and still nobody come and help me ?!”
——? ? ? ? ? ?——-

Kok Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him
what had happened to his ears and he answered, “I was ironing a shirt and
the phone ring – but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally
picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear”
“Oh dear !” the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. “But …. what happened
to the other ear ?”
Kok Beng answered: “That stupid dumbo called again!!!!”
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-

Kok Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Kok Beng: “COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
TAIPEI AND LAS VEGAS ?”
Operator: “JUST A MINUTE…”
Kok Beng : “THANK YOU ” and he puts down the phone.
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he’d been working on for quite
some time, Kok Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
“It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT”, Kok Beng brags.
“FIVE MONTHS ? THAT’S TOO LONG”, the friend exclaims.
“YOU ARE A FOOL.” Kok Beng replies, “SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS”.
——-? ? ? ? ? ?——-

At a bar in New York , the man to Kok Beng’s left tells the bartender,
“JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE” and his companion says, “JACK DANIELS, SINGLE”.
The bartender approaches Kok Beng and asks, “AND YOU, SIR ?”
Kok Beng replies : “Tan Kok Beng, MARRIED”

Ayam Goreng Si Gendut

Gendut sedang kesal dan hal yang bisa
meredam kegalauan hatinya hanyalah
makan sebanyak-banyaknya.

Ia pun pergi ke rumah makan kesukaannya
dan memesan ayam goreng satu potong.
Beberapa saat kemudian pesanannya
datang.

Tapi begitu ia akan menikmatinya,
pelayan lain datang dan berkata, “Aduh,
maaf Mas. Itu sebenarnya pesanan lelaki
tinggi besar yang di sana itu. Dan ini
merupakan stok ayam terakhir yang kami
punya. Maaf ya Mas.”

Gendut menoleh ke arah lelaki yang
ditunjuk, lalu berkata, “Karena sudah
terlanjur di sini, jadi ayam ini milik
saya. Toh saya juga membayar.”

Sementara si pelayan restoran tampak
kebingungan, lelaki tinggi besar dengan
wajah marah sambil membawa pisau makan
menghampiri Gendut.

“Hai gendut, jangan sentuh!! Apapun
yang kamu lakukan terhadap ayam itu
akan aku lakukan terhadapmu. Kamu
potong kakinya, aku potong kakimu. Kamu
potong perutnya, aku potong juga tusuk
juga perutmu. Pokoknya apapun yang kamu
lakukan, akan aku lakukan juga padamu.”

Gendut terdiam beberapa saat, lalu
pelan-pelan ia mengangkat ayamnya,
membawanya ke depan mulutnya, lalu
menjilati pantatnya.